Well, it’s been confirmed that I will appear on the Today show. That really caught me off guard because I wasn’t expecting that at all. I mean, who is invited to be on the Today’s show? Sydney Chance is. And I will be telling our story. I was serious when I said that our mission to keep other families from losing a child this way. It’s so easy for it to happen and people don’t realize that it can happen within seconds. Literally. So I will be spreading this message all over the US. Can you see it? Me being a spokesperson for something? I couldn’t. But God never ceases to amaze me. Go, Chance, Go, Chance…I always knew she was special and that she would be a blessing to someone other than me!!
But this is still a bittersweet feeling. I wish she could be with me physically as I go place to place. I feel her spirit but I would give anything for her to be with me. Like I said on FaceBook, it’s been 8 months today at 4:44 pm that she’s been gone. These past 8 months feel like 800 years. It’s so hard to go on when half of your heart is missing. But in the 8 months, I’ve experienced more than losing Chance. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost a relationship. I lost a couple of really close friends. I’ve learned a lot about myself as a person. I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of because of my weak moments. I feel like I’ve been selfish to some people who genuinely love and care for me and my well being. And for that I’m sorry. I feel like some people don’t understand that one day I can be happy, smiling and laughing and then the next day it’s hard for me to get out of bed. They feel like I pick and I choose who I want to be around and that’s not the case. It’s just that the person I’m with caught me on a good day. I feel like some people need to watch what they say because they’re really insensitive to what I’m going through. I don’t like when you tell me “she’s in a better place” or that “I need to let her go”(that’s by far the worst thing I’ve ever heard…I’ll never let her go. So don’t ever say that to me..) I feel like I didn’t realize what I had in certain people until they were gone. Like one of my really close friends, one that I love and would do anything in this world for, told me that I manipulated him when I didn’t have to because he was going to be there for me regardless. So to you, I’m sorry and know that I would never do anything to hurt you. And I will make it all up to you. I promise…:)
Also during these 8 months, I’ve dealt with a person that REALLY made me see myself. I promise this person had no idea that he was teaching me a lesson. I mean, I know what it feels like to be disrespected, cheated on, lied to, etc…so I thank this teacher because he showed me that I deserve so much better. And I wish him the best too. But I have nothing but love for you too. And one day you’ll find a woman that will make you willingly give up the things I asked you to give up that you couldn’t. I wish things would have been different but hey, that’s life and I’m a living witness that things don’t always turn out the way I want them too. Thanks for the trip though…That’s it for “Transparent Tuesday”…lol
My life is about to get really busy these next few days. I’ll try to keep up the posts and I’ll post some behind the scene pictures of our taping for the Today show on Friday. They’ll be coming here to film. So keep me and my family in your prayers. It’s going to be hard to relive that day on camera in front of millions of people. But it’s something that must be done.
So until the next post…
I pray that you have “another day and another “Chance” to get it right…