Well it’s been confirmed that I will appear on the Today’s show. That really caught me off guard because I wasn’t expecting that at all. I mean, who is invited to be on the Today’s show? Well Sydney Chance is. And I will be telling our story. I was serious when I said that our mission to keep other families from losing a child this way. It’s so easy for it to happen and people don’t realize that it can happen within seconds. Literally. So I will be spreading this message all over the US. Can you see it? Me being a spokesperson for something? I couldn’t. But God never ceases to amaze me. Go Chance, Go Chance…I always knew she was special and that she would be a blessing to someone other than me!!
But this is still a bittersweet feeling. I wish she could be with me physically as I go place to place. I feel her spirit but I would give anything for her to be with me. Like I said on FaceBook, it’s been 8 months today at 4:44 pm that she’s been gone. These past 8 months feel like 800 years. Its so hard to go on when half of your heart is missing. But in the 8 months, I’ve experienced more than losing Chance. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost a relationship. I lost a couple of really close friends. I’ve learned a lot about myself as a person. I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of because of my weak moments. I feel like I’ve been selfish to some people who genuinely love and care for me and my well being. And for that I’m sorry. I feel like some people don’t understand that one day I can be happy, smiling and laughing and then the next day it’s hard for me to get out of bed. They feel like I pick and I choose who I want to be around and that’s not the case. Its just that the person I’m with caught me on a good day. I feel like some people need to watch what they say because they’re really insensitive to what I’m going through. I don’t like when you tell me “she’s in a better place” or that “I need to let her go”(that’s by far the worst thing I’ve ever heard…I’ll never let her go. So don’t ever say that to me..) I feel like I didn’t realize what I had in certain people until they were gone. Like one of my really close friends, one that I love and would do anything in this world for, told me that I manipulated him when I didn’t have to because he was going to be there for me regardless. So to you, I’m sorry and know that I would never do anything to hurt you. And I will make it all up to you. I promise…:)
Also during these 8 months I’ve dealt with a person that REALLY made me see myself. I promise this person had no idea that he was teaching me a lesson. I mean, I know what it feels like to be disrespected, cheated on, lied to, etc…so I thank this teacher because he showed me that I deserve so much better. And I wish him the best too. But I have nothing but love for you too. And one day you’ll find a woman that will make you willingly give up the things I asked you to give up that you couldn’t. I wish things would have been different but hey, that’s life and I’m a living witness that things don’t always turn out the way I want them too. Thanks for the trip though…That’s it for “Transparent Tuesday”…lol
Well my life is about to get really busy these next few days. I’ll try to keep up the posts and I’ll post some behind the scene pictures of our taping for the Today’s show on Friday. They’ll be coming here to film. So keep me and my family in your prayers. It’s going to be hard to relive that day on camera in front of millions of people. But it’s something that must be done.
So until the next post…
I pray that you have “another day and another “Chance” to get it right…
Things are moving faster than I ever expected. Who would’ve thought that I would have over 600 hits on my blog?!? I know I’ve been bombarding Facebook with shares and retweeting like crazy on Twitter, but that’s the point of social media…
Anyway, with the way things are moving, I’m really missing my Chance. I mean, really!! I literally feel like half of my heart is missing. Some days are better than others but if you knew who Chance was, you’d know why I miss her so much. She’s the kind of child that you never forget. If you met her once, you’d fall in love with her. Yes, she’s just that special. I can remember this time last year, I would be trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. And trying to get her to stop singing so we could go to sleep. Telling her to stop spilling milk in my bed. I wish I could say those things to her right now. I wish I could hear her singing, “baby, baby, baby, OOOOOOH” or see her dancing to Single Ladies(she would dance her little butt off to that song…Lol). I wish I could feel her feet on me while she’s asleep or get a sloppy wet kiss from her in the middle of the night when she felt like kissing me. I wish I could hear her say , “mama…I love you” in a way only she could say it. Or hear her fussing at “Bannon”. Or her wanting to go see her Mommy! Going to Mommy’s house and playing in h makeup. I wish I could see her sitting in her Uncle Memo’s lap and getting absolutely anything she wanted from him. Watching her and her Uncle Shishard(Darrick)arguing and fighting. Her helping her grand daddy wash his truck. Being content looking at her and Brandon while they lay in the floor watching Rio. Her knowing which door Barney would come in. Chance and her cousin Da’sai playing and talking in a language that only they know!! Or her saying “POW” to her TeeTee Erika..LOL!! That was so funny. Her crying when her GodMom Lynn picked her up but her tears instantly dried when they put the car in reverse!!(con artist) See, it’s things like that. Things that people take for granted. Our children aren’t promised to us. They aren’t guaranteed to be here when we wake up in the mornings. Be thankful for the time that you do have with them. Make everyday count. Because you never know when one of you will be gone.
The things that are happening in my life are so bittersweet. I mean, I wish that I could raise awareness with her right beside me. But that’s not the way God planned it. I’m so thankful that I KNOW where she is. Although sometimes I wonder what she’s doing in heaven but that’s another post for another day. I was so blessed to have her for the time that I did. Because I promise you, she made my life so much brighter in the 2 1/2 years she was here. And now her legacy will live on for years and years to come. For that I’m thankful.
But I’m still missing my precious, beautiful Sydney Chance…
Again, I’m speechless!! The support that I’ve received from my first post has been awesome. God’s plan is always so much bigger than any plan that we have for ourselves. Who knew? I didn’t!! God did. And that’s always the most important person. So basically, this post is just a post of thanks!! Thank you for subscribing. Tweeting. Posting as FaceBook stat’s. Sharing…ALL of the support means a lot. I know now that my Chance’s death was not in vain. Her legacy will live on. And she will be saving lives.
After she passed away, Osceola High School(my brother Zrano’s school) had a tree planting ceremony and they planted a tree in Chance’s honor. Well, the science teacher came to me and said that she wanted to talk to me. She asked how I was doing and I told her that it was rough because I missed my baby. I missed everything about her and that I just felt empty. She told me that it was expected. But she told me that she spoke with Chance! Now, I’m not the type that believes in Psychics or Mediums but when she started speaking she told me things that only family members and people who were at the hospital would know. She told me that Chance said that she didn’t know how she got there, to heaven, but it was fast. Like a flash. She said that she saw each one of my family members in the hospital and she saw things that I confirmed with them later. Like she said Chance saw me in the PICU bathroom crying and praying. She said she didn’t know why we were so sad because she was happy. She spoke on how Chance says that she was fine. The teacher says that she asked Chance what she was doing and Chance said that her job was to “Help the babies!” Now right now I can’t share everything that she said Chance told her but one day I will. But I said that to say that when she said that she was helping the babies, I thought that she meant she would be an angel to the ones that were sick in hospitals but I know now that she’s helping and saving the babies EVERYWHERE!! Her purpose is to get awareness out about the falling furniture. Securing the televisions. I wondered why on earth was she climbing on the dresser. I knew she was curious and fearless but I had no idea that it would end tho way. Maybe had I known I would have secured the dresser. Or mounted Brandon’s television on the wall. But like many others, I didn’t think it could happen to me.
But the thing is, these are items that we never think to do. Furniture tip overs happen all the time. We just don’t hear about them. This is why I’m trying my hardest to get the message out. I don’t want this to happen to anyone else. I know that I can’t save every child. But if I can keep just ONE child with their families one more day, Chance’s purpose has been filled. The pain and heartache that my family is feeling…it’s unexplainable. Chance has not been the only child to pass away this way so I want to honor the other children as well. Their deaths were not in vain either. We’re all in this together. Your hurt is my hurt. Your pain is my pain. Together we’ll get through this together.
We’ll have another day, another “Chance”…
I’ve been asked to do a blog from several people. Now a major company wants to sponsor so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to talk about but the reason I was asked to do this was because of the devastating loss that I’ve suffered earlier this year. My daughter Sydney Chance passed away after a dresser and television fell on top of her in April. It was something that we never thought would happen to us. So now my mission is to make other families aware of the dangers. Securing your dressers, televisions, bookcases and shelves aren’t something that we think about. We don’t think that anything can happen but I can let you know that your life can literally be shattered in a matter of seconds. I mean, one minute I was laughing and playing with Chance and five minutes later my son Brandon ran into my room and told me that the TV fell on top of her. So I want to help as many families as I can. I want to raise awareness. Because the way that we feel after losing her, I don’t want another family to go through this feeling. It’s the worst feeling ever. Chance’s purpose in life was to help other babies and children….And we’re going to accomplish that.
So basically, this blog will be about the struggles and the issues that I face on a daily basis. Sometimes things will be really random. Some will be heartbreaking. Some will make you laugh. I will post videos of her and my son Brandon. I will discuss my ups and downs in my relationships. So just pretty much expect super randomness….Lol