“The sun is shining, there’s plenty of light
A new day is dawning, sunny and bright
But after I’ve been cryin’ all night
The sun is cold, and the new day seems old
Since I lost my baby…”
That’s definitely how I’m feeling today. No matter how nice a day is, Chance is always a thought away. Tears are always on the brink. I’m sure people that are around me everyday don’t understand how one minute I can be happy and smiling then the next moment I’m isolated within myself. Not wanting to talk. In my feelings. Just missing my baby. It’s not hard and this time of year is hard..
Last year, we were in a state of fogginess. I believe that we were all numb to the fact that she wasn’t there. Now we just feel hurt. A pain that can’t be explained. A hole is in our hearts that won’t ever be filled. A beautiful little girl that we feel but can’t see or touch. It’s a hard life for me right now.
However, in all of this sadness and grief, God has been faithful to me. And he promised that he would never leave me. And I believe that. Just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean that HE doesn’t love me. This is a part of being one of HIS children. I’m not exempt from problems or heartache. Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted…” I believe that. And I know that this is all a part of the process. This is all a part of the testimony that I will give one day. This is all a part of my purpose.
I get it. It doesn’t stop the hurt though. This is just a day that I’m missing her more than normal. I’ll be fine.
But until I feel better I’ll just play this song that reminds me of her