I’m in a better mood today than I’ve been in recent days. It’s good to know that God will give you the peace you need. When He KNOWS that you need it. It’s so true that He knows what you can and cannot bear. Because just when I got to the point where I felt like giving up. He gave me that perfect peace that surpassed all of my understanding. There is power in peace. So right now at this moment, I’m good. And I’ll cherish THIS moment because I don’t know when I’ll feel this good again.
That’s the thing about grieving. You don’t know when it will hit you. You can be in the middle of a great, happy moment then BOOM! You’re down again. You’re wallowing in the hurt and the pain. But it’s all a part of the process. Wanting to give up is all apart of the process. But not giving up is a part of His promise. He promises that he will never leave you. Nor will He forsake you. So like I said on my Facebook status earlier, “Don’t bail out on God in the middle of the process. He’s just developing you…” So during the process, I’ve been battered, torn, I lost my faith, I lost hope but GOD!! I know that he can restore all of those things. I know that even if he doesn’t give me the things I want and desire, I know that he CAN!
Anyway, it’s always good to know that people are paying attention to what you say. When I started this blog, I had no idea that people were actually hearing and listening to the words I was saying. Today was a great example that what I’m doing is not in vain. A friend of mine told me that she was walking out of her bedroom and she saw her daughter in her son’s room pulling on the dresser drawers. Since she knew the story of what happened to us, she immediately grabbed her daughter and thought “what if?…” Now she knows what she needs to do. My heart went out because I know the despair she felt. It could have turned out a totally different way. But God…because she knows what happened to Chance, she will be moving the TV. So I’m thankful that what I said and that my story was in her mind. Now she has another “Chance” to get it right. Look at that! I see you working Sydney Chance…:)
With that being said, I know that everybody won’t take heed and rearrange furniture and buy anchors to secure their furniture. This will go out of the ears of some. But like I’ve been saying since the beginning, if I can help ONE family keep their child another day, I’ve done what I was supposed to do. This is all apart of MY journey. This is what Chance and I were put here to do. God is slowly but surely revealing the purpose!! Thank God for the process. The devil didn’t want me to heal from losing my baby. He wants me to continue being angry and hurt. He wants me to continue doubting God. But his plan is coming up short. God’s army is always bigger than Satan’s!!
This process is just customization! I’m coming out of this! Nobody can do it like ME!!! Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, they are for Good and not a disaster; to give you a future and hope….” Life and Favor is my customization!!!
All of you will have different processes. Some things you will not understand. You wonder, “why am I going through this?” “what did I do to deserve this?” “This is too much for me..” but why not you? He owes us nothing! And everything that we go through is for you. You better praise God for how he positioned you even when you don’t understand or when you can’t stand it!! What I KNOW is that you WILL praise God in the end for what you had to endure in the beginning. It’s all part of the process…