It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Sad, I know. I’m trying to learn what I should and shouldn’t say. But I decided that I’m going to say and talk about what I want. No filter. Because I can’t be the only person that has problems. And if I only write when things are good then I’m being inauthentic. That’s something I can no longer do. Besides, I’m a woman and we all relate on every level.

As women, we allow utter disrespect from people just to say we have someone. If you’re not in my immediate circle, you wouldn’t know that the past two months have been two of the hardest that I’ve had since Chance has been gone. And honestly, I’m grieving another loss. It’s not a loss from death but a loss nonetheless. It hurts. A lot. However, I’m trying to let this grow and better me. I try to remember that I’m not exempt from bad things happening just because I’ve been through losing my Chance. I mean,  who am I?

But the loss of this person has just been a really hard pill to swallow. And even now, two months later, I can’t believe it’s happening. So like I said, I’m grieving again. That’s when I realized that in life, we’re always going to grieve something. Whether it’s a loss from death. The loss of a job. Losing a friend or even a relationship or marriage ending. You just have to learn how to grieve properly. Now, when you lose someone from death, it’s hard because that’s permanent. But when your job ends or a friendship drifts away or when a marriage or relationship ends, you can move on. It only means that God has something better for you. That’s something that you have to believe and stand on His word with.

Let me get biblical on yall right quick. We all will suffer from things. But God doesn’t want that to be your permanent state. In Ecc.9.3-12.(nlt)

It seems so wrong that everyone under the sun suffers the same fate. Already twisted by evil, people choose their own mad course, for they have no hope. There is nothing ahead but death anyway. There is hope only for the living. As they say, “It’s better to be a live dog than a dead lion!” The living at least know they will die, but the dead know nothing. They have no further reward, nor are they remembered. Whatever they did in their lifetime—loving, hating, envying—is all long gone. They no longer play a part in anything here on earth. So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne! Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom. I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy

So what that means is, get up and do something. ALL of us will go through something that breaks us down. But you have to get back up. You can’t stop living like I did for two months. (I’m too cool for that anyway, lol) Yes, you may be hurt. Yes, you may feel that your life is over but it’s not. God is your peace in the midst of every storm that you go through. Forgive whoever hurt you. Because once they’re forgiven, you can move on properly. But let this be a time of reflection in your life. Get yourself together so God can bring the ONE that’s meant just for you into your life. And who knows, maybe you just needed a break from that person or situation. Maybe they need to see what they’re missing in you. It doesn’t mean that it’s permanently over. Because who knows what God really has planned for you both. Let God handle it. He’s waiting for you to cast all of your cares onto Him. Besides, He’s the only one that can help you anyway. Facts Only!!!

So while you’re going through your losses, know that God has something better. Just do your part. He has the rest covered.

Now I promise to get back on Facebook and Twitter more. I just needed time to process some things. I feel better now. Lol

Oh, on to Chance news, I will be shooting a PSA for the US Consumer Product Safety Commission. In the words of my cousin Bri, “Look at how God always has that ram in the bush!!” And I recently got back from New York. Doors continue to open. I’m excited that God is still allowing me to do something I love and still honor my beautiful baby at the same time!! Won’t He do it?? Yes, he will!!!

K.Bowles