Why you won’t see me judging anybody

On social media, you won’t see me posting about mass shootings. Mothers killing their children. Fathers killing their kids. People committing suicide. You know why? First of all, I don’t know what anybody’s mindset is. Second and lastly, I CANNOT JUDGE ANYBODY!!!! The bible says,

1 Peter 3: Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brother and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.”

Now, lets be clear, I do not condone any of it. It broke my heart when I HEARD(I did not watch. You have to be careful about the things you allow into your mind. That image will forever be there) about the video of the elderly man in Cleveland that was killed today. Like, always, I wondered what he was thinking when that situation was unfolding. I’m praying that his relationship with God is on point. But at this point, Heaven is so much better than this cruel world.

What I want to say is, MENTAL ILLNESS is real!!! And like I always say, you cannot see it from the outside. You know how I know? I battle with this daily. Severe depression. Post traumatic stress disorder. Anxiety. All triggered from things that I go through daily. ONE traumatic situation caused a series of mental illnesses. Again, I struggle daily! I’m just blessed with an awesome support system. My family and friends LISTEN to me when I’m having rough spells. They don’t understand but they don’t blow me off. All it takes is a few moments to listen to someone when they’re expressing themselves. Just listen.

Do you know how many people suffer in silence because of shame and embarrassment? Do you think it’s easy to admit to someone that you have a mental illness? Do you know the stigmas attached? Do you know that it’s by the grace of God that you’re not suffering? It’s free to be there for someone. But do you know that a few minutes of being there for a friend or family can save people a lot of heartache. It can deter some tragic situations. Example, what happened in Cleveland today. I didn’t watch the video of the man being killed. But I did watch the video of Stevie Steve talking to a friend and one thing that stood out to me was him saying, “I snapped. And when I try to talk to ya’ll, you blow me off like I’m just talking..” No one listened. Now, 14 people are dead. Likely 15 when the police catch him or if he commits suicide. No one took his pain seriously.

That’s just like when Shanynthia Gardner murdered her children last July. The first thing people did was condemn her to hell. They wanted her to be stabbed to death like her children were. They wanted her gone. But when I heard that story, my heart immediately asked questions. Why didn’t anyone see the signs? Why wasn’t she being treated for mental issues? Was she overwhelmed? Why did she snap? I didn’t judge her because I’m not God. I wish more people would look around at their friends, family and coworkers to see if they’re really ok.

And why is it so hard for people to understand that black people suffer from mental illnesses? Why are we exempt? When tragic situations like these happen, people automatically say, “black people don’t do that!”. Well, we snap like any other race. Why do you have to pretend that you’re ok? It’s ok to not be ok! We are killing ourselves mentally because we don’t want people to look at us funny. But guess what? When you snap, they’re going to talk about you anyway. So get the help you need.

My friends, when you ask someone how they’re doing, don’t accept the “I’m fines” or  the “everything is goods”. They’re not. Take five minutes out of your day and genuinely listen. Be sincerely concerned. Don’t run back and tell their business. That’s why people suffer in silence. We’re afraid that you’re going to tell everybody you know that I told you that I’m having problems. Don’t revel in someone’s misery. Don’t be giddy to spread a private conversation. Encourage the people that you love to seek the help they need. Prayer is great. God is a healer and He is faithful. However, I feel that he wants you to utilize the resources that are available.

I know people are going to rip me apart for this blog because I’m writing this from a different perspective. But at this point, I’m just writing what I feel led to share. I’m unashamed to say that I suffer. I won’t suffer in silence anymore.

You won’t see me judging anyone for their actions. I may not agree with them, but I won’t speak about what someone else is going through. We are all one situation from something tragic happening. I will attach some scriptures. I hope that people read and study these with open minds and hearts.

Romans 14:13 “So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall”

Luke 6: 27 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.

1 Timothy 5:24 “Remember the sins of some people are obvious, leading them to certain judgment. But there are others whose sins will not be revealed until later.

Love each other. Be compassionate towards each other. Pray for each other. Pray for peace of your mind daily!!!!

Keisha

Who’s fighting for you?

Do you sometimes wonder how you’ve made it through certain situations in your life? Like, why your situation didn’t kill you or make you just completely give up on everything? 

That’s because you have someone in your life that’s fighting for you. Even when you don’t see it or feel it. God is still there. Always! Fighting those battles that you don’t even know you’re in. Battles that Satan are trying to take you out with. 

God loves us so much more than you’ll ever know. He’s waiting for you to put all of your faith in Him. He wants you to trust Him wholeheartedly. 

Isaiah 12:12 I trust You to save me Lord God and I won’t be afraid…

When you can’t figure out life and you’re stressed out beyond belief. Look at, 

Proverbs 3:5 trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding…

Stop trying to figure out everything on your own. 

Also, He blesses those who depend and trust Him during these trying times. It’s not in vain. 

Jeremiah 17:7 but blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence 

He protects you because you believe in Him. 

Psalm 91 the Lord says, l will rescue those who love Me. I will protect those who trust in My name..

Don’t worry about what people think about you. Don’t be concerned about who or what they want you to be. Trust that God knows what He’s doing in your life. He knows what’s best. Even when you don’t understand. 

Have faith in yourself and have confidence in your abilities. Follow your dreams. If you want to be a writer, don’t let anybody censor you. If you want to be a singer, sing your heart out and make sure you’re giving the glory to God. Sing for Him. If you want to start a business, start it. But don’t be discouraged if you don’t make millions of dollars your first few months. Perfect your craft and keep going. 

No matter what people think about you, know that God is fighting for you. He doesn’t want to lose you. 

Fight for your marriages. For fight your family. Fight for your friends. They can’t be replaced. Fight for your dreams. Just keep fighting. God has the rest. 

And also, so many are rooting for you. We have to support and generally love each other. Let’s fight for each other. Listen to this song by Mali music 💜

I know they see you and they want you
I know they see you and they want to

Make you who they want you to be

I know that life is tryna to get you

I know that life is calling out to you by your name

But don’t listen, resist it

Keep running, don’t you stop for nothing

Just keep kicking, remember where you came from

Don’t forget what you already know

What you got is amazing, hold that, don’t you let it go

You hold the light, you hold the light
You hold the light and it’s shining

And making darker places bright and you lighter

You hold the light, you got a lot

You bring a lot, you bring a lot

And it’s evident they can see it, they want in it

But it’s not for the taking, it’s not for the changing

No it’s not for remixing, it’s not for remaking alright.

So they lining up to take it alright

I can’t let them take my you, you know I write for you yeah

I won’t let them take you, I won’t let them
I won’t let them take you, I’ll be your protection

I’ll be your direction yeah, I’ll be your protector

You know I’ll rather fight for you, I’ll fight for you

I’ll fight for you, you knowing I’m fighting

Cause I refuse to lose you 

Fighting cause I refuse to lose you…

The butterfly…

I’m sitting here at work and I’m a little down today because it seems like the things that I really want in my life seem to pass me by and go on to others. I sometimes think, “Dang, don’t I deserve SOME of the things I pray and ask for?” And today while I’m ALL in my feelings I started reading on the internet and I came across this.

Quick little story…

A man found the cocoon of a butterfly. One day, a small opening appeared. The man sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force it’s body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and that it could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings.The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly. What the man, in kindness did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it could and would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly.
When you ask God for strength, He gives you difficulties to make you strong. When you ask for wisdom, God will give you problems to solve. If you ask for prosperity, He will give you a brain and will to work. Ask for courage and He will give you dangers to overcome. You can ask for love and He will give you troubled people to help. Ask for favor and you will get opportunities you weren’t qualified for. You may not receive everything you want, how YOU wanted but you will get everything you NEED.
So basically (and this is what I’ve always known) everybody won’t run the race at that the same pace. Some may come in first. Some come in third. Some come in last. But at the end of the day, the goal is to cross the finish line.
A few weeks ago, I dropped Brandon off in Brinkley but on the way back  I said to myself, “I’m taking the back way home.” It was raining and I know that traffic can back up any time on Hwy 70. So as I was driving I can still see Hwy 55. Well, I drove at a good pace. Enjoying the scenery and I look over at Hwy 55. The traffic is slowing down. And I’m just cruising along listening to my music. Minding my business. Lol. Then I look over again and traffic is at a stand still. I’m thinking, what happened? They were just moving. I drive up and I see that there’s a car accident. But while their lane has stopped, mine is still moving. So I speed up and I pass the car accident but then I’M stuck! Other cars and trucks decided to take a shortcut and it stopped me! By now, I’ve passed the car accident on 55 but their lane is moving and I’m stuck. Then it hit me. We’re all going the same direction but our trips will not be the same. Those that know me KNOW that I got emotional. We were all going in the same direction. 
 With all of that being said. Trust your journey. You may see other’s getting married, getting promotions, having babies, buying houses and traveling while you’re wondering when you will be blessed with these things but GOD knows. You don’t know what they’ve gone through to get to that point. You will get there too. Your journey isn’t theirs and theirs isn’t yours.
So I will TRY to be patient and know that God is getting me ready and when I’m blessed with the things I desire, I’ll be able to appreciate them.
 
Remember your journey is YOURS! What I’ve been through could have killed you. What you’ve been through, could have harmed me. Learn the lessons so you can pass the tests.
You’ve got this!
Be blessed.

It’s not so bad..

I’m out with my brother, Brandon and my Mom looking at the moon tonight(it’s beautiful right now) and it made me realize that I take things for granted. So I decided to do a quick reality check.

Remember that when you’re going through the storm that things can always be a little worse than what they are. While you’re complaining about the your job, there’s someone that would love to have a paycheck coming to them. You hate your house? Well there’s someone who’s sleeping with their children in a shelter or on the street. You can’t buy your kids the latest and greatest? A mother is dreading Christmas because her child died and the holidays are a reminder of what she’s not able to do with her daughter. Your relationships are failing? A man is depressed because his life isn’t going the way he thought it should(men cry too) and there’s no one there to listen. Your car sucks? Someone is walking everywhere they need to go in the cold rain. You complain about your significant other but there’s a man or woman out here that has never experienced love and they’d love to have a relationship. So who’s losing? In Walter Hawkins song, Thank you, the singer says,

it could have been me, outdoors. With no food, no clothes. Just alone. Without a friend. Or just another number with a tragic end. But You didn’t see fit to let none of these things because everyday by Your power, You keep blessing me!

Wow!

Our mindsets are our biggest problems. I’m guilty of this. I tend to sometimes see the bad in life and overlook the good. I cry because Chance isn’t here. But honestly, I could be mourning the loss of both of my kids. Brandon was in the room with her when the accident happened. But God! Brandon is still here. He’s thriving and doing well. Thank God! Chance could have been a teenager and I could be worried about her soul and where she is. But she’s in heaven. And she’s still saving lives. Do you know how many children have died and are forgotten? How many children have PSA’s? Do you know how bad off I could be mentally? I have my bad times true enough but I’m in my right mind. There are so many grieving mothers that can’t function from day to day! I haven’t been admitted to a mental hospital. The depression isn’t constant. God made me strong and I’m able to encourage others even when I can’t see it. I’m so thankful for that. I complain about how things could be better in my life but I don’t take my God given talents seriously. I say I’m lonely but I don’t take the time to truly get to know people who genuinely want to know me. God shows me daily that I’m worth so much more than I’ve taken from people. My heart is precious and I’ll get the desires of it when I’m done learning these lessons. (I hope I’m close, lol! I want my husband. Geeez 😂) I’m so blessed and even though I don’t thank God enough, He still.. God still..

So, be thankful for your life. Be thankful for what you have. Give thanks for the people that God put in your life. Love your family and treat your friends nicely. Be grateful to God for protecting you from what you THOUGHT you wanted. Praise Him in advance for what He’s going to do. Live with Thanksgiving everyday. Let’s keep our minds on the positive. Satan tries to distract you with the negative. Don’t give in. Don’t give up. Keep your faith and you’ll see those blessings coming before they even get to you!

Life is not so bad as it may seem if you open up your eyes to what’s in front of you…

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

K. Bowles 💙

Note to self..

My last few months have been so crazy. Like, crazy crazy. The past two months going on three, heart numbing. Since Wednesday, off the chain. Today… Wow!!

Be careful who you put your trust in. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Some people will use you until you feel that you have nothing left to give anyone else. Those people are selfish. They don’t deserve your love. And people that are selfish will be humbled. Facts only!

Be mindful of words. They mean nothing without action. A person can tell you 1000 times that they’ll change. Or that they will fix their wrongs. That they’re committed to making things better. It sounds good but let their actions speak for them. Don’t fall for the charm. You’ll be hurt everytime.

Be cautious of who you entertain. The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy. He knows exactly what you like. And if you’re trying to live in your purpose, he’ll use what you like to distract you. Every time. Self explanatory.

Pray about everything. God oftentimes gives you directions. We tend to want to go our own way. Follow the path He has laid out for you. When you try to do things your own way, you’ll keep going in circles until you get tired. Facts only! Until you learn the lesson He’s trying to teach, you’ll keep failing the same class.

Forgive those who hurt you. God forgives us on a daily basis. And when you truly forgive, you’re only helping yourself. The person who has wronged you is going on with their lives while you’re bitter. Don’t be bitter. Forgive and keep it moving.

Lastly, forgive yourself. A lot of times, we’re harder on ourselves. Don’t be. You’ll make mistakes with picking careers, relationships, friends, decisions. Learn the lessons and move forward.

God will sometimes make you uncomfortable when He’s trying to bless you.

Remember what you deserve and don’t let bad experiences keep you down. You’re better than what’s happened to you.

What I learned from the Peanuts movie…seriously!!!

So last night, Brandon and I went to see the Peanuts movie. I was actually very tired yesterday but he’s been talking about going to see the movie for months. Of course, tired and all, I had to take him. I’m so glad I did.

Now most people my age have watched Charlie Brown movies at some point in their lives  but I guess as kids we didn’t really grasp the hidden  messages in them. Well last night, I got the message loud and clear. God, I got the message.

So Charlie Brown, was the insecure down trotten, always sad, he didn’t feel like anything was going right. I mean, he couldn’t even get his kite off the ground. He fell in love with a girl that he saw one day in class and he tried to find ways to get her attention.

He tried a talent show, he didn’t compete because his sister needed his help. He let her shine. He tried learning to dance to impress her but he ended up embarrassing himself by falling and making a scene. He tried to take on the responsibility of a class book report that they were to do but she had to go out of town and he did it himself. Major fail. The book report was torn up and he had nothing to turn in. Lastly, when he realized that he didn’t make the perfect score on his standardized test, after he’d been praised by everyone in school, he admitted that the test wasn’t his. Poor Charlie Brown.

Well after he failed in getting her attention he completely gave up. Like, he was done. He got depressed. He was withdrawn from his friends. Nothing else mattered because he was absolutely tired of failing at everything. Keep in mind, in the beginning of the movie he was still trying to fly his kite. The absolute struggle.

The last day of school, his teacher put all of the children’s name into a bowl and everyone had to pick someone to write to over the summer. PigPin was picked by a girl that had a crush on him. Lucy of course took matters into her own hands (literally! I’m so guilty of this… ) by choosing Schroeder. Lastly, Charlie Brown’s name was called and he thought no one would pick him. To his surprise, the red haired girl picked him. He was just outdone.

Charlie Brown could not figure out why she picked him. Him, the guy that made a fool out of himself the entire year. The guy that could never get two words out when she was around. The guy that was insecure. So he asked her. Why did you pick my name? *this is where the lesson comes in, lol. He told her in so many words, I’m nothing. I have all of the problems. My life is a mess and I can’t do anything right.  She said, “I didn’t see any of those things. I saw the compassion for your sister when she was having a hard time at the talent contest and you stepped in to help her. I saw that you were courageous when you got into the dance contest knowing that you weren’t the best dancer. You were also funny. I saw that you were nice enough to do the book report when I had to go East to help my sick grandmother. That showed me that you were caring. So I saw the good in you when all you saw were the bad things!”

When I tell you that a light bulb went off in my head and I felt that God was speaking directly to me! I literally had tears in my eyes. Let me tell you why. At times when we’re going through things we let the bad things outweigh the good. Because we don’t have a lot of money, we feel that we’re not valuable. That because you don’t have a degree that you’re not educated. Because you’re single that you’re not good enough to be loved. That since you don’t have a solid career that you’re not good at anything. Because you’re overweight that you’re just doomed to be by yourself. But you NEVER know what people see when they actually look at you. They could see that you’re good to those around you. That you’ll help someone that you don’t know. That you’ll give your last to make sure that someone else has. That you are  the most beautiful woman ever or that you’re the most handsome man a woman will ever see. They don’t see the mess that you see.

Don’t let your thoughts hinder you from being happy. So what everything is together! So what you live in an apartment?  You could be happier than someone living in a five bedroom house. So what you don’t have a seven figure a year job? You probably have more time to spend with your family and friends. You don’t have to take medicines or drink alcohol to get through the day. So what you’re single? You’re happier than someone that can’t sleep because they’re worried about where their significant other is. You don’t have to worry about karma coming back because you’re sneaking with someone who’s married or in a relationship. (Shade, lol) So what that you don’t have tons of friends? You don’t have to worry about people hanging on to you for what you have instead of who you are. I’d rather have 5 real and true friends than 50 fake ones. This list can go on and on.

Learn your worth. Know that there is no one like you. There will never be another Keisha Bowles.  You know why, God made me and I’m like no other. Don’t let society tell you that because you don’t have thousands of followers on social media and hundreds of likes that you’re nothing. Figure out who you are. Be authentic to yourself. Don’t try to compete with the lives of others. Everything that shines isn’t light. You can shine by being yourself. Stay true and be you!!

Who would have thought that I learned all of this from Charlie Brown?  Lol

Get up and move around…

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Sad, I know. I’m trying to learn what I should and shouldn’t say. But I decided that I’m going to say and talk about what I want. No filter. Because I can’t be the only person that has problems. And if I only write when things are good then I’m being inauthentic. That’s something I can no longer do. Besides, I’m a woman and we all relate on every level.

As women, we allow utter disrespect from people just to say we have someone. If you’re not in my immediate circle, you wouldn’t know that the past two months have been two of the hardest that I’ve had since Chance has been gone. And honestly, I’m grieving another loss. It’s not a loss from death but a loss nonetheless. It hurts. A lot. However, I’m trying to let this grow and better me. I try to remember that I’m not exempt from bad things happening just because I’ve been through losing my Chance. I mean,  who am I?

But the loss of this person has just been a really hard pill to swallow. And even now, two months later, I can’t believe it’s happening. So like I said, I’m grieving again. That’s when I realized that in life, we’re always going to grieve something. Whether it’s a loss from death. The loss of a job. Losing a friend or even a relationship or marriage ending. You just have to learn how to grieve properly. Now, when you lose someone from death, it’s hard because that’s permanent. But when your job ends or a friendship drifts away or when a marriage or relationship ends, you can move on. It only means that God has something better for you. That’s something that you have to believe and stand on His word with.

Let me get biblical on yall right quick. We all will suffer from things. But God doesn’t want that to be your permanent state. In Ecc.9.3-12.(nlt)

It seems so wrong that everyone under the sun suffers the same fate. Already twisted by evil, people choose their own mad course, for they have no hope. There is nothing ahead but death anyway. There is hope only for the living. As they say, “It’s better to be a live dog than a dead lion!” The living at least know they will die, but the dead know nothing. They have no further reward, nor are they remembered. Whatever they did in their lifetime—loving, hating, envying—is all long gone. They no longer play a part in anything here on earth. So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne! Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom. I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy

So what that means is, get up and do something. ALL of us will go through something that breaks us down. But you have to get back up. You can’t stop living like I did for two months. (I’m too cool for that anyway, lol) Yes, you may be hurt. Yes, you may feel that your life is over but it’s not. God is your peace in the midst of every storm that you go through. Forgive whoever hurt you. Because once they’re forgiven, you can move on properly. But let this be a time of reflection in your life. Get yourself together so God can bring the ONE that’s meant just for you into your life. And who knows, maybe you just needed a break from that person or situation. Maybe they need to see what they’re missing in you. It doesn’t mean that it’s permanently over. Because who knows what God really has planned for you both. Let God handle it. He’s waiting for you to cast all of your cares onto Him. Besides, He’s the only one that can help you anyway. Facts Only!!!

So while you’re going through your losses, know that God has something better. Just do your part. He has the rest covered.

Now I promise to get back on Facebook and Twitter more. I just needed time to process some things. I feel better now. Lol

Oh, on to Chance news, I will be shooting a PSA for the US Consumer Product Safety Commission. In the words of my cousin Bri, “Look at how God always has that ram in the bush!!” And I recently got back from New York. Doors continue to open. I’m excited that God is still allowing me to do something I love and still honor my beautiful baby at the same time!! Won’t He do it?? Yes, he will!!!

K.Bowles